Never Would Have Thought
by phelipa
Summary: After Sara is brutally assaulted can Grissom get close enough to help her and prevent hurting her? Catherine steps up to help and develops a deep friendship with Sara. Rated M for rape and violent scenes. Do not read if you don't want to know!
1. Chapter 1: The Power of Love

AN: This is my first attempt at this kind of fiction. I'm not sure if you guys will like it. It contains violence and rape, so don't read it you don't want to. Just a warning. It is a GSR story, or will be, but I don't expect it to be to long! Make my day and review please!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or the characters used in this story.

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Never would have thought

Chapter One: The Power of Love

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary: men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." –Joseph Conrad

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Sara lay on her back, her head rested in the rough gravel that covered the dark soil of the path. A cool breeze blew that night, raising goose bumps on her bare flesh and causing her to shiver violently. Her fingers were swollen and bleeding, leaving dark crimson stains on the ground. Her mouth was dry but she could still taste the metallic flow of blood that ran from her lips.

She shifted, moving her legs but stopped as sharp pain radiated through her pelvis. A raw sob broke through her lips and the salty tears started again. Her eyes were red and raw from the tears but she didn't try to stop them. She tried again to cover her bare body with her legs to no avail, the pain was too strong.

Her heart was pounding violently in her chest and as she took each breath her ribs wailed in pain. She could see the shadows of tall trees casting dark silhouettes over the grainy earth as the sun began to rise.

She felt a stab of fear as she heard the gravel crunch under a pair of boots. She tried desperately to move again but Sara was injured beyond the point of motion. She prayed silently, something she hadn't done in a long time, and asked God to protect her from whatever lay ahead.

She could hear what sounded like running then heard the sharp bark of a dog. She shivered again and felt another tear slide down her cheek. The bark came again and she heard the rustle of paws around her body. A man's voice rose above the barking as he called his dog back to him. The dog didn't move, but pressed his wet nose into Sara's side.

Again she heard the man's boots and fear radiated through her body like a forest fire. She heard the man swear violently and she shuddered again. The assailant had used the same word. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer and let them fall quickly. Suddenly warmth spread over her body and as she realized he had spread his coat over her body to cover her nakedness. The fear diminished the smallest bit as Moved away and picked something up from the ground

As Sara focused on him she saw him clutching her purse, looking through it. In his other hand he held a cell phone to his ear and she heard him ask for an ambulance. He pulled out the black wallet, dropping the purse on the ground and pulling out a small sheet of paper. He looked at it again then dialed a number into his cell phone.

Sara couldn't make out what he was saying as he spoke into the phone. When he closed the phone he came back over to her and bent down to speak to her. Immediately the fear rose in her throat and she managed to cry out,

"No!"

The man backed away, playing with his wedding ring anxiously. Minutes later the screech of tires sounded through the still morning and Sara could hear the faint echo of approaching sirens in the distance, maybe someone had come, maybe someone would help.

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Catherine stood in line at the grocery store, anxiously tapping the cart handle and waiting to be checked out. Just as she began laying items on the conveyer belt her cell phone rang. Thinking it was Lindsey she opened it up and said,

"Linds, I'm just at the grocery store, I'll…"

She was cut off as a man's voice came through the phone,

"Catherine Willows?" his voice was shaky, as though he was riding on an unpaved road.

"Yes?" She replied warily.

"Do you know a…" He paused and it sounded as though he was looking for something, "Do you know a Sara Sidle?"

Catherine was surprised, "Yes." She answered again, cautiously.

"This is umm Jon Davidson. I'm here, I mean, I'm on this trail and…" His voice dropped off again as Catherine waited impatiently. "I think Ms. Sidle needs you. You and a Mr. Gil Grissom are her emergency contacts in her wallet."

Catherine stopped cold, "Emergency! Did you call Grissom?"

There was a pause then he said, "No, she's not doing to well with men right now."

Catherine swore, "Where the hell are you?"

He mumbled something about a path off of Third Street. "Ok, I'm close, tell her I'm coming. And call Grissom anyways."

With that she hung up the phone and ran. The cashier went to ask something but she called back,

"Put it back! I have to go!"

She threw herself into her car and with a trembling hand inserted the keys into the ignition. She tore out of the parking lot, thanking God she had decided to pick up groceries on the way home from work. Had she not been out she would have been sleeping and she wouldn't have gotten the call.

As she pulled onto the side street that led to the path she slammed the door, not even bothering to remove the keys. She bolted into the half lit forest and ran, in three inch high heels, until she spotted a man standing in the middle of the path.

She heard sirens in a distance as she ran toward him.

"Mr. Davidson!" She yelled, "I'm Catherine Willows."

He had a little black and white dog by his side, which was pacing anxiously.

The man, whose face was as white as chalk pointed toward the slope of the path.

"Stay here!" She called as she moved slowly towards the bank of the pathway.

"Sara?" She asked quietly.

She saw a dim figure shift on the ground and picked up her pace.

She felt bile rise in her throat as she moved closer and saw Sara's bare legs sticking out from underneath a man's leather coat. She swallowed the urge to be sick as she glanced back at Mr. Davidson and saw he was missing a jacket. Her heart went out to him as she realized what he'd done, how he'd helped her friend.

She inched her way closer, not wanting to alarm Sara with her presence, "Sara?"

She watched as Sara turned her head to face her and was alarmed to see the deep, raw fear that hid in her eyes.

She felt a heavy darkness settle over her body and murmured, "Oh Sara…"

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Sara turned to look and saw Catherine perched beside her. Just seeing the familiar face brought relief but also shame and embarrassment. She tried again to pull her legs in but let out a cry of hurt as the pain shot up through her body.

Catherine laid a hand over hers and squeezed gently,

"It's ok Sara. I'm here now; the ambulance is on the way."

Sara listened carefully and once again heard the sound of shoes on the gravel,

"Catherine…" She managed to whisper, "Cath…I don't have…I don't have any clothes on."

Catherine rose and ran down the path again. Sara felt an immediate sense of panic, being left alone but it was settled seconds later when Catherine returned with a warm blanket from the ambulance.

Sara could hear her asking the paramedics to wait a minute then she reappeared into her view. She took the jacket and slowly peeled it from Sara's skin. Sara panicked, clutching the jacket tightly, trying to conceal herself.

Catherine touched her hand lightly, "Sara, it's ok. I'm just going to cover you with this blanket."

Sara reluctantly let go of the jacket and turned her head to the side as Catherine slid the heavy blanket over her. Catherine wanted to scream, or hit something when she saw Sara's body.

She had bruises covering her chest and several welts on the side of her neck. Three of her fingers were bent at awkward positions, surely pulled from their sockets. Her fingers were swollen and bleeding and there was a deep gash on her cheek. Around the gash was swollen, almost closing one of her eyes completely. Her left foot was twisted; it looked as though the ankle was broken. Finally, most obvious and heart wrenching, was the deep crimson pool between her legs.

Catherine tried to ignore it and simply wrapped Sara up in the blanket, holding it tightly around her body, then ushered the paramedics forward. They worked quickly, making sure she was stable then slid her onto the gurney.

Sara let out a cry of intense pain as they moved her, the motion rattled her body leaving her aching and begging for mercy. Catherine took her hand carefully and held it gently as they moved her into the back of the ambulance.

As soon as Sara was in place Catherine went back to Mr. Davidson,

"Jon?" She asked gently.

The man looked up, he was obviously distraught.

"Jon, I need you to go talk to the police, they're just at the end of the path."

He nodded and Catherine continued, "Did you call Mr. Grissom?"

The man shook his head, "Ok, I'll call him. Mr. Davidson, you did a good thing, for that I thank you."

She hugged him tightly and when she let go she saw that he looked a little teary eyed. She touched his shoulder gently before turning and going back to the ambulance.

She climbed into the back and settled herself beside the gurney. Pulling out her cell phone, she dialed Grissom's cell phone number. She waited impatiently until he finally picked up,

"Grissom."

"Hey Gil, It's Catherine."

"Catherine? Is that a siren? What's wrong? Is it Lindsey?"

"No," She managed to say, "It's Sara, she's hurt badly Gil, It looks like rape, can you meet us at the hospital?"

She heard his sharp intake of breath and his soft reply, "I'll be there."

Grissom grabbed his keys from his office drawer and left only seconds after he hung up the phone.

He drove faster than he'd ever attempted before and arrived at Desert Palm hospital only minutes after the ambulance got there.

He could see Catherine's strawberry blonde hair inside one of the curtains, but he didn't enter. He knew rape victims had a tendency to fear men and he didn't know if he could take that. He didn't know if he could stand to cause that fear in Sara.

He didn't want to hurt her.

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Sara bit her lip and squeezed her eyes closed as a CSI from a different lab did the rape kit. She let out a quiet sob as the finished and took scrapings from her nails and wounds.

Catherine stayed the entire time, trying to distract her and calm her down. Sara seemed to be listening but it didn't seem to be helping to calm her down.

Finally the CSI closed the kit and set it on the table. She sat down in the chair beside Sara and began to speak.

"Sara, can you tell me what happened?"

Sara struggled to sit up and managed to pull herself upright in the gurney. Slowly she opened her mouth and let the words out.

"I was…I was working last night. I went…to a bar. I went by myself." With that Sara broke off, covering her face with her hands.

She could remember it all, his face, his touch, his smell…Sara began to sob loudly and all at once she leaned over and vomited over the side of the gurney. Catherine stepped back out of the way but rested her hand on Sara's back,

"It's ok Sara, it's ok." She murmured softly.

Sara was sobbing loudly again, letting tears pour down her cheeks. Catherine handed her a container from the side of the bed and she vomited again, emptying her aching stomach into the dish.

Catherine bit her lip and finally turned to the CSI saying, "That's enough, she's not ready."

The CSI resisted but Catherine said, "No, I'll get it from her later and give it to you."

Finally she left, leaving Catherine to comfort the hysterical Sara. Catherine called for a nurse who came and cleaned up Sara's mess then asked her to see if a Gil Grissom was in the waiting room. When the nurse returned she informed Catherine that he was there.

Catherine spoke quietly to Sara, telling her she was going to get Grissom. Sara looked terrified for a moment, terrified about the thought of seeing a man. But as she thought about it, she thought about Grissom, how kind and gentle he was, how perfect he was.

Seconds later Catherine returned, "Sara, Grissom's outside the curtain, do you want to see him?"

Sara was quiet for a few moments before saying, "Yes, tell him I do."

Catherine disappeared for a few seconds then returned and picked up Sara's hand. "Sara, just tell him if you want him out ok?"

Sara nodded and breathed deeply as Grissom opened the curtain and entered.

She looked up at him and felt a deep sense of love emanating from him. She could see the lines of sadness in his face as he looked at her stitched cheek, her bandages fingers and her foot that was in a cast.

He approached her slowly and when he was close enough Sara dropped Catherine's hand and placed herself in his arms. He touched her slowly, wrapping his tender arms around her slender body. She collapsed into his embrace and sobbed on his shoulder, leaving dark, wet streaks on his shirt.

"Gil, it was awful, so awful." She murmured, sobbing desperately as though she was looking for something, for healing.

But all he could do was sit there, sit next to her and comfort her as she cried, as she opened her already bleeding heart for him to see.

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Alrighty, so make my day and review please! Let me know what you think and tell me if I should continue!

Thanks guys!


	2. Chapter 2: Sitting with Sara

AN: WOW! Thank you guys for the reviews they're awesome and so encouraging! Just for that I posted sooner than I planned! Thanks again so much and enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: I own ZERO of the characters used, CSI is not mine.

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Never would have thought

Chapter Two: Sitting with Sara

"The world is full of suffering; it is also full of overcoming it."– Helen Keller

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Catherine excused herself discretely, leaving Gil and Sara alone behind the curtain. He stroked her hair gently and whispered in her ear. It was one of the most loving acts he had ever performed. When she had finally stopped her tears he released her and helped her lay down again.

He touched cheek gently with his thumb and brushed away the remaining tears, "Ok now?"

She shook her head, "I don't know if I'll ever be ok Gil."

He wanted to kiss her forehead and tell her everything would be alright but he didn't want to engage too much contact. One misstep could send her into a relapse of emotion and fear.

She seemed tired and he asked her if she felt alright.

She shifted slightly, "I don't know. I have this pounding headache."

Grissom quickly became concerned and went in search of a doctor. He returned minutes later with a doctor, a young man. As soon as he stepped in the room Sara's wide eyed fear came back and she moved to the far end of her gurney.

"No! No, stay away!" She called, her voice trembling in fear.

Grissom approached carefully, "Sara, he wants to help."

She was crying now, "No, make him leave Gil, make him leave!"

Grissom looked at the doctor apologetically and asked him to leave. Turning back to Sara he spoke soothingly, trying to get her calmed down.

"Griss, I'm going to be sick." She murmured.

He grabbed the pan and gave it to her. Immediately she retched, emptying what was left in her stomach into the basin. Grissom held her rich brown hair off of her sweaty neck and rubbed her back until she had finished.

"All done?" He asked gently.

She nodded and sank back into the pillows, emotionally and physically spent. Grissom called for a nurse who emptied the basin and returned with a female doctor, the one who had treated Sara when she first came in.

The doctor asked Sara how she was doing and set up a drip to ease the pain she was feeling. When she had done that she turned to face Grissom and said,

"This will make her drowsy; it will also rid her of the headache and ease some of the pain in her wounds."

Grissom nodded and sank into the chair beside her bed. A few minutes later Catherine joined him, clutching two cups of coffee. She handed him one and pulled up a chair beside him.

"How's she doing?" she asked.

Grissom ran his hand through his curly gray hair, "I don't know. She seemed ok, then a male doctor came in and she had a breakdown. Crying, clinging onto me, she even vomited after he left she was so upset."

Catherine nodded, "She did earlier too, twice. It was right after the CSI was asking about the rape."

Grissom sighed and looked at Sara, who was sleeping heavily. As he looked on he saw her shy away from her dream and whimper quietly. He saw a tear slip down her cheek and felt his heart clench as he watched her move away from something in her sleep.

"Catherine? When does it end?" He asked quietly.

Catherine shrugged, "I don't know Gil…I honestly don't know.

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Over the next few hours Catherine and Grissom took shifts sitting with Sara, comforting her when she woke up. They had moved Sara up into the general recovery wing, recommending she stay for the next few days to make sure everything went as planned. During Grissom's shift with Sara Catherine returned to the hospital room and said,

"Look, I told Lindsey I would be home as soon as I finished grocery shopping and it's been almost 24 hours. I think I'm going to go home, let her know what happened, get a change of clothes, and then I'll come back."

Grissom was already nodding. "Catherine, what about the rest of the lab?"

Sara moaned softly and groggily said "Don't tell them."

Catherine looked at Sara who had fallen back asleep then to Grissom before whispering, "Well we have to tell them something. I mean we both left them with Ecklie, we've been gone for a full day and Sara's been completely absent."

Grissom shrugged, "Tell them she's hurt? Don't give details, just tell them she's been hurt and needs some moral support."

Catherine nodded, "Ok, I'll stop by on my way back and let them know."

Grissom gave a rare smile before turning back to the sleeping Sara.

As the drugs began to wear off Sara became more and more conscious. Eventually she opened her eyes, looking at her new surroundings.

"Griss? Where am I?" She questioned; her voice hoarse and rough.

He attempted a smile, "You're in general recovery, and the doctor wants you to stay for a while."

Sara shifted, feeling the dull pain returning. "Ok."

He continued, "She also wants you to try and get up and walk around a little bit. We can try that when Catherine gets back."

Sara nodded, "And I suppose that CSI will need me to…to say what happened?"

Grissom nodded slowly, "You think you're ready for that?"

Sara hesitated, "I don't know, but we might as well get it over with."

Gil leaned over and touched her cheek gently; the sleep had done her good. She seemed more composed, more like Sara. However, though she acted the same he could still the haunted look of hurt in her eyes; he could see the pain in her movements and the fear in her mind.

He heard a knock at the door and turned to see Catherine come in the door, her arms laden with packages.

She lay them down on the bed and sighed, "Sorry I'm late, once I told everyone you were in the hospital they made me wait while they got you gifts."

Sara looked up warily, "You didn't tell them what happened?"

Catherine shook her head, "They all want to come see you. Even Lindsey begged me to let her come see you; you're like an aunt to her."

Sara's eyes glistened with tears and she wiped a shaky hand over her cheeks furiously, "I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"Sara, they're going to have to find out sometime. As soon as they see you it really won't be that hard to figure out."

Sara looked up at Catherine, "Fine, tell them when you go back to see them."

Catherine took Sara's hand in sympathy, "I'm sorry Sara."

Sara nodded, sitting up in her bed, "So if they're coming you think I should wait to open all of this?"

Grissom shrugged, "Whatever you want."

Sara released her first real smile since the assault, "I'll wait."

Catherine picked up the gifts and set them on the table beside the bed. Grissom looked at her and said, "So Sara should get up and walk around a little, you want to help?"

Catherine nodded immediately.

Sara looked slightly pale and sick as they helped her swing her legs over the side of the bed.

"You alright there, Sara?" Catherine asked gently.

Sara nodded, her mouth set in a grim line of determination. She winced as both Grissom and Catherine slipped their arms under hers and lifted her to the floor. The cast on her foot made it difficult for her to stand so both Catherine and Grissom kept their hands around her waist.

She moved slowly, shuffling her feet across the tile. Each step brought a sharp stab of pain a silent reminder of the pain she had endured. The simple walk around the hospital floor took just under half an hour, a task that should have taken maybe five minutes.

When they returned to the hospital room Sara's hospital gown was damp with sweat and her face was red from exertion. Grissom left the room as Catherine helped her change into a fresh gown and entered again with a cool cloth he placed on Sara's forehead.

Her breathing was deep and she looked up in puzzlement at the door. Catherine spoke up,

"Who's that?"

Grissom looked at Catherine a moment before saying,

"That's CSI Carver. Sara and I called her while you were out. Sara said she's ready to talk."

Catherine looked at Sara, "You sure?"

Sara, who looked suddenly pale again, nodded.

The tall, willowy brunette name Janet Carver entered, first talking quietly to Sara. Catherine recognized the tactic; she'd used it several times during her own rape victim cases. She then pulled up a chair and sat quietly, not pushing, but waiting for Sara to begin.

Grissom and Catherine sat as well, one of them on each side. Sara took both of their hands and a deep breath before beginning,

"I was working late…until one in the morning I guess. I wanted to go out for a drink, it'd been a hard day and I needed to calm my nerves. I dressed up a little, made myself presentable and drove myself to the bar. I thought about asking someone to go with me, but I decided I needed some time alone."

Sara paused, she took a deep shuddering breath and her grip tightened on the hands that enveloped her own.

"I was at the bar and I ordered a couple martinis, I drank them and hung around a bit before deciding to go home. I asked the bartender to call me a cab because I could feel the alcohol already. He obliged and I waited until he'd called then went out to wait for the taxi.

It seemed like a long wait though it was maybe only five minutes. I peered down the road but I couldn't see any taxis. I turned to go back into the bar and he grabbed me."

Sara's face paled dangerously, leaving her cheeks a ghostly green color. Her palms were sweaty and she knew her face bore sheen of slick perspiration. Catherine grabbed the basin from beside the bed and handed it to Sara. Sara, though she took it, wasn't sick again, she pressed on.

"I don't know how he got me away; I mean there were others there. He hit me hard and stuck a cloth in my mouth to muffle my screams. I fought him but he hit me several times, knocking me unconscious. I remember waking up with my leg twisted in an awkward position and feeling the blood on my face. I couldn't move some of my fingers."

She paused again and her hands trembled,

"He pushed me down and I felt gravel on my back, that's when I realized he'd taken my clothes. He left my purse though; I could see it a couple feet away. I don't know why. He hit me again when he saw I was awake and he shoved me down…then he raped me."

She broke off there and this time she was sick. She lurched over the basin and retched as images flashed through her mind, she could see the world going by as he dragged her, she could see his face, his hands…

As she finished Grissom rubbed her back gently while Catherine rubbed her arm in a comforting manner. She removed the basin when Sara was finished and Grissom moved Sara's head onto his shoulder. CSI Carver asked her some more questions about his appearance and mannerisms, finally when she decided she had enough information she left, thanking Sara and wishing her well.

As soon as she left Sara began to cry again. She cried in pain, she cried for her experience and she cried because she was crying again. Grissom and Catherine both sat with her until she had finished and Grissom gave her a gentle hug,

"You did good Sar. You did really good."

Catherine rubbed her shoulder a little before saying she was going to make a few calls.

She returned a few minutes later, "The boys want to come visit. They said they were going to come no matter what I said."

Sara looked a little distraught but pushed her emotions aside, these were her friends, her colleagues. She took a deep breath, composed herself and said,

"All right, I'm ready to see them."

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AN: Once again, make me happy, push that button and leave your mark? Good or bad? You tell me!

Thanks for reading!


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